Laying in bed she attempted to get some sleep. So far it wasn’t working. Her mind was beginning to wander, taking advantage of the shadows that the night brought. Tess was used to bouts of insomnia, it never bothered her before, but nights like these, when they began to whisper insecurities, where it took advantage of being alone to release the moments of ‘what-ifs’ was when she knew it was troublesome.

Opening up her eyes, she looked at the ceiling and sighed. It was only six months ago that she had the pleasure of curling up beside Dominic. The joys of both being Head students she supposed. She let out a shaky breath and lifted her hand to her chest, annoyed at the ache in her heart. She was so stupid; even if six months had passed in no way was it going away. She was a fool for loving him she supposed, for so long that infatuation ran strong within her, her fantasies of normalcy, her love of life and new experiences soon wilted as he left her high and dry. Now the bed was empty, something she was getting used to one more. It was painful to admit she missed the steady heartbeat that lulled her to sleep before.

She often wondered, especially nights like these, what she did wrong. Did she not express enough that she loved him?  She always hinted it she supposed, never outrightly said it, but it was mumbled here and there. Their banter, his smiles, and the way his cheeks flushed so cutely made her think he understood. She remembered the way she would study his freckles and smile softly.



Pushing the door to the common room open, she smiled seeing Dominic there. Walking over to the couch as he read his book, he only leaned back and pouted his lips. She laughed softly and bent down meeting him halfway as a greeting. A hum of agreement was between the two before she was off walking towards her room to shower and change. Quidditch always tired her out, made her muscles sore and made her want to just curl up and not think about anything. He wasn’t fond of the fact that she was a part of it, always thinking she was too delicate to get into those things, but he loved knowing the gossip within the group.

After showering she followed her usual routine. Her wet hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and her nightgown was slipped on. Crawling to her bed she curled on the left side of the bed, always leaving room for him. It was only minutes later that he joined her like he always did. He too was dressed in his pajamas and pulled her close. HIs head nuzzled its way into the crook of her neck and took a deep breath. She shivered at the way he did it. She knew what he was trying to do. It had been going on for a while. She was always nervous about even going to the next step, telling him that she’d want to wait, wait till she had a ring and everything before she dared think about going to the next step. He always told her he understood and wasn’t pushing her. But nights like these, where his hands slid against her hips, rising the nightgown to her abdomen told her he’d forgotten what he’d said.

She wiggled around, nervous about exactly how to say no. It was always like this, she’d be cooed and promised the world, everything she ever wanted. Treasures, places, bucket lists, but the word love was always insinuated but never directly said. Instead he’d call her “doll face” in a way that would always warm her heart despite her dislike of pet names. Turning to face him, she slid her hands to his chest and kissed him softly. She knew that if she got to realize how tired she was he would let it go. His hands always dove into her hair, and it always curled her toes in a way that told her perhaps waiting was useless. They were going to have a life together no?

“Domi” she whispered softly, “I’m tired”

She breathed out, a gasp softly emitted from her mouth as he bit lightly against her neck. Digging her nails to his chest he knew that he was pushing it and always pulled back,  as he did now. With a kiss on the cheek and an apology.

“Sorry doll, I know I-“

“Let’s just go to sleep” she murmured, sliding her body down so her head laid right over his chest. His hands moved to her hips pulled her close and she closed her eyes.

“You’re so special love” she heard him whisper,

“You too” she whispered in return earning her a squeeze.



It would be a month later that all the plans they had went out the window. She hated to admit the way he used to hold her reassured her that things were going well. And now she was here, almost eighteen and trying to get herself to just know that it was long over. He was getting married soon, at the end of summer. The bastard had the gall to send her the owl, inviting her to the wedding with a plus one. Bastard.

She blinked back tears at the thought of it being real. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t be one of those people that would fall in love. Love meant nothing if it wasn’t reciprocated. And she’d learned it the hard way. Rhian never really knew exactly how much pain Tess was going through, and she never would, Tess vowed to never share it to anyone. But in the emptiness of her flat, and the darkness night brought her, she finally let herself cry.