How could Parker even begin to put his wildly excited, racing thoughts into coherent words? Overwhelmed and overjoyed and nervous as all hell only barely put it into perspective. As unpleasant as the ride over the station was, he was now practically shaking like a leaf with the biggest smile across his face as he boarded the train. When it started to take off, he waved his hands wildly out the window like all the other first-year students, paying no mind to how obviously uncomfortable and displeased his parents’ faces looked.

“You keep that up and you’re face’ll crack in half!” A wide-set face smiling just as brightly as he was called out jokingly from beside him. “You gotta seat yet?”

When Parker shook his head no, he was promptly invited to sit with the boy and his older brothers. It was nerve wracking at first and he had no idea what they were talking about 80% of the time, but they didn’t pester him about his silence or obvious nervousness or not-so-nice clothes. They were easily able to gather he was muggleborn, and even asked him some questions about it once they were later on in the ride and Parker was starting to warm up to them. In return, they told him about each of the Hogwarts houses (they were from Gryffindor except the youngest yet-to-be-sorted one and the eldest already-graduated-Hufflepuff sister), the ghosts, the dorms, and so many other things beyond his wildest imagination.

Before even halfway through the ride, Parker was worn out from having to wake up extremely early to get to the train on time. The older boys let him rest peacefully, a tired lull overcoming them as well. They all awoke far more energized in time to get changed into uniform and robes and Parker decided to walk with them around the train while they went to go say hi to friends and flirt with girls.

By the time they got back to their particular carriage and were ever-nearer to Hogwarts, Parker felt sick to his stomach in excitement and nervousness. But Parker had somehow been able to meet nice people, and potentially could have them as friends once they met back up after the sorting hat ceremony, so he felt like he’d be okay. It was a much better start to things than he anticipated. He hadn’t gone into it alone like he so much expected.

----

Going into the castle with all the other first-years was daunting and exhilarating, practically needing to remind himself to breath as they entered into the entrance hall. Going through the main doors into the dining hall, Parker was surprised he hadn’t fainted, though he felt like he surely would as they lined up at the front of the room in front of the four looming tables adorned in their respective colours. The traits for each house ran through the back of his mind and his nervousness grew exponentially as names were called out alphabetically.

"Emery, Parker!" the headmistress's booming voice called out.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to move under the weight of thousands of eyes upon him. He eventually found his way to the center stool beside the headmistress and sat down, the sorting hat placed onto his head only moments after.

It wasn’t an immediate decision like some of the people before him, but it didn’t take forever either (despite that it felt like he was sitting there for ages). And when the booming voice if the hat shouted “Slytherin!!” Parker felt his stomach drop. He heard the handful of familiar voices booing him from the Gryffindor table as he made his way down to join the table of green and silver, sitting between two other first years with his gaze lowered and face burning with ultimate embarrassment.

How could Parker even begin to put his frantic, racing thoughts into coherent words? Stupid and foolish and embarrassed as all hell didn’t even begin to put it into perspective. Once everyone was sorted and the food was put out for them, he could barely even bring himself to touch his food.

"For goodness sake will you stand straight?!" Tess heard her mother screech. "The seamstress worked hard on this Tess Marie, now don't you ruin this for me."

Tess sighed as she stood straighter on the stool as the old woman moved around making sure the skirt was a right fit. She'd been waiting all her life to go, and what was she doing? She wasn't packing or playing with the cat she she'd chosen as a familiar, but instead she was forced to stay still, so the needles wouldn't prick her skin or the woman wouldn't hit her with the ruler. Looking at the mirror, she didn't understand how any of this was really about her, with her comment her mother made. The blouse was perfectly tailored, not a thing out of place, her skirt was right on the knee as allowed in the rulebook. Her mother was making this a bigger deal than her father did. He had yet to acknowledge her leaving. After all, their favorite child was coming back.

Mycroft was coming back and that was all he could talk about. Their golden child who had graduated as the Head Boy with honors and seven job opportunities. That was already a big shadow that she needed to overcome, one that she knew was already a failed try. She flinched as a needle poked her. "You deserved that" the seamstress rasped, and Tess stepped on her hand as a warning. She wasn't going to take that comment from a lowly seamstress. As the woman cursed, Tess smirked and stared straight into the mirror.

Her hair was long, down to her lower back, but put up in a high ponytail, pulling all forms of hiding her face impossible. Her big eyes stared at the mirror as she heard shuffling and her brother walked in. At eighteen he had no rush to leave the house, and took the only attention she got from her mother with a kiss on her cheek. Looking away, she saw her mother greet him in the warmest way she could: a kiss on the cheek and a hug. She rarely got those. Maybe leaving she would be lucky.

"Madame?" a maid called out.

"Yes?" her mother said.

"The lady's things are all packed, I was wondering if we wait for her uniform?"

"Of course. Rita is done. Tess go take that off so we can get that packed!"

Tess hopped off and did as told as she went to the other room to change. Removing her uniform, the other maid took it, and she changed into the dress her mother chose. Pants weren't for girls like her, her mother had said. And Tess simply agreed. Coming out, she had her flats placed on the floor for her and she got help slipping them on. A small necklace around her neck with her family's symbol : a fox, rested on her chest. Overall, her mother got her to look like the doll she wasn't sure she could live up to. Her mother smiled though, and that was enough to get Tess' spirit soar. She smiled back brightly, and her mother simply handed her the cloak around her.

"Is father coming?" she asked softly.

Her mother shook her head and Tess lowered her head. Swallowing the bitter taste in her mouth she nodded. Of course he wouldn't come, why would he when his favorite child was back? She blinked back tears, by now she should have known better. Keep expectations low to not be disappointed she repeated it like a mantra. Whispering this to herself, she was forced to look into her mother's eyes.

"Don't you dare" she whispered, "I am more than enough, be grateful I'm going. Now come, no time to dawdle. The cat and your things are already at the station, the only thing missing is you."

The red nail picked up a tear running down her cheek and Tess closed her eyes. Her mother caressed her cheek lightly before taking her hand. There were moments when her mother showed her that she cared, and with every touch, Tess craved more attention. Holding her hand tightly they apparated to the station and she knew this was it. This was the moment that she waited for since the moment Mycroft had come back telling tails of his adventures. As the maids put things in the train, Tess turned around and clung to her mother's waist. She felt her mother flinch but hug her lightly. She wouldn't cry this is what she told herself but her eyes weren't listening.

"Look who's here" she heard her mother say.

Turning around Tess' spirit lifted thinking it was her father: it wasn't. Instead it was her nanny and her brother. Her brother walked over and hugged her close slipping something in her hands. "You'll be great" Mycroft whispered. She did cling this time, and when he pulled away she saw a Slytherin tie at her fingertips. Looking up at him he placed a hand on her head and smiled. Her nanny told her to eat healthy but did not touch her: no one was allowed to touch her.

"Now get going, you are making this goodbye far too long my love" her mother called out.

Nodding, Tess grabbed her cat and hopped into the train. Looking for compartments she found an empty one and sat down close to the window. She did not wave as it drove away like the other children. She had said her goodbyes. No one even bothered entering her compartment, much to her relief and disappointment. So she changed into her uniform, perfectly tailored. When they were asked to get out and head towards the boats, she sat as gracefully as she could into the boat. The castle still managed to take her breath away as she looked up to it. Her brother had described it, but it didn't do the castle justice.

Shuffling with the other children, she briefly noted a young boy with reddish brown hair shuffling around, seemingly most lost than her. She smiled softly, his big eyes seemed safe. Harmless, and safe. She liked that. Her cheeks reddened slightly as she was forced to look at the Deputy Headmistress as the rules were stated. She knew them already, and she knew where she'd be sorted, there was no surprise.

"Holmes, Tess"

Murmurs were heard through the houses, everyone knew that name. Her brothers had left a legacy here and she promised herself she would try too. As she sat on the stool and the hat was placed on her head, it took longer than expected. Embarrassingly long, that her cheeks began to redden. The hat was a fickle thing, murmuring things about her soft heart, to her yearning for intelligence. But it was her ambition that had set her fate.

"Slytherin!"

She sighed in relief and quickly shuffled to the house table as the students cheered. Someone patted her harder than necessary and she winced not used to contact. "Obviously you'd be here, there's no where else you'd belong!" they yelled. Tess nodded and smiled, this was good. "Your brothers are so awesome! I knew him you know? Great guy" and then the good feeling died. Of course. Her eyes grew cold and she nodded firmly, making sure it was clear to end the conversation. Turning back, she only caught the little boy she admired sitting on the stool.

"Mudblood" the girl beside her sneered.

Oh. She winced at the the term and she felt something tight in her stomach shift at the thought of her admiring the boy with big eyes. Definitely not appropriate for a lady like her. Still as the sorting hat began to shuffle, she noticed that it called out her house. The house cheered and the girl beside her scoffed. She on the other hand clapped politely and smiled softly. At least his qualities weren't overall awful.

Slytherin house wasn’t meant for people like him.

During the train ride he was told that Slytherin was where a lot of the traditional wizarding families got sorted. The old money. The pure blood. The total opposite of what Parker had and was. Slytherins were bad according to those older Gryffindor boys, and Parker as a whole didn’t think of himself as bad. Was he?

He’d been told they were cunning, self-serving, and as cold-blooded as the snakes of their crest. Parker knew self-preservation and didn’t often put much thought into others, sure… but why would he when most the people he’d have the misfortune of having to deal with wanted to cause him grief? He never considered himself much of a traditionalist, but the past was something he often found himself stuck in. He really thought he found parts of himself in all the houses - since many of the traits carried over and were more broad than people could initially assume.

But was he really Slytherin?

----

Besides the obvious booing from his would-have-been Gryffindor ‘friends’, Parker also picked up on some not so quiet comments made by a few of those of his new house. He burned his gaze into the table with small fists clenched in his lap as the rest of the first-years were nervously and happily sorted.

Mudblood.

He could only guess what they meant by that, but he wouldn’t know the full gravity of the slur until a much later date. He just thought it was like any of the other harsh names that had been slung his way over the years.

All Parker had wanted was a fresh start. Something better than he had before. And if the train trip had been anything to go by, he couldn’t have imagined how the rest of his years would have gone. But once again he was set apart. Once again in a place he didn’t feel he had the right to be.

Barely touching his food, dinner felt like it took ages to pass. And it felt like it took even longer to maneuver through the crowds of older students leaving the dining hall, trying to find his respective head-of-house. The small group of new Slytherins made their ways down to the dungeons towards the dorms, an excited chatter amongst them. Most walked in pairs or in already-formed friend groups, but Parker walked alone with his eyes to the floor or directed towards the head-of-house whenever he spoke.

The dorm common room itself was a lot nicer and warmer than the rest of the creepy-feeling dungeons. A quick final announcement was given, with the head-of-house stating that their belongings had already been put into their rooms, and the lists of room assignments had been posted near each set of stairs. Parker listened with a heavy heart, hoping his roommates would be tolerable. As an only child, Parker had never had to deal with a shared room situation, so the idea of sharing a room with three other boys and a common room with so many others… he was more than a little nervous about it. What if they hated him, what if they snored, what if he was a bad roommate? What if… what if??

----

So when they were dismissed, Parker didn’t run right up the stairs like most the others, and instead hung around in the common room to look around a bit in awe. The ceilings were high and ornately decorated. There was a fireplace, and grand mantle place with all sorts of trinkets with plush couches all around. There were also tall windows that showed an underwater scene of the Black Lake that they’d all been told to stay clear from.

Going over to sit on the sill of one of those huge windows, he looked up into the almost pitch black water. Reaching his hand up to rest against the cold glass, he imagined that during the day-time light must reflect in in the most beautiful way.

Parker would probably never fully understand it, the reasons for the prejudice that is. Just like he couldn’t fully understand the power structures and prejudices of the muggle world. The basics would always be the same though: you are different and you are not enough. And there was nothing that could possibly make that true when so ingrained into a society.

Parker half-listened to all the kids around him animatedly talk about their summer plans and their plans for the upcoming week. How excited they were for this class and that professor. Who broke up and who got back together. Parker just felt his chest grow heavy with a feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint. With the whispering that had already been passed around about him, no one reached out to ask how his summer was - not that he had much to share.

Dinner seemed to stretch on for an incredibly long period of time.

The walk to the dorms almost seemed even longer with the much smaller group almost all paired off talking amongst themselves as the went. Parker felt as alone as ever.

He had barely been able to pay attention to the announcements given to them with all the ornate, gorgeous decorations around them. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced before and almost made him feel light headed. So much went into this castle, so much history, so much of so many things he couldn’t even begin to fathom. He could not even begin to imagine what the future held for him. It made him wonder if fortune tellers really existed.

Parker’s thoughts wandered as he sat there looking through the window, not staying on one particular topic, just wanting to get lost and not think about where he was or what he felt for just a moment. He didn’t even notice the first-year witch had approached him until after she spoke.

"The squid doesn't appear during nighttime you know? He's an early sleeper"

Parker looked over at her with a confused expression and responded with a meek, heavily Irish-accented voice. “Squid? I thought squids only lived in the ocean.” He looked back out the window, still unable to see anything other than some particles floating right by the glass. “This lake must be real deep then.”

He didn’t know what else to say to the girl, so unused to being approached like this. Did she just want to make him feel stupid or was she actually trying to talk to him? Did he say his name, ask her her’s? He plain didn’t know what to do. It was going to be impossible learning to make friends this way. He felt his heart sink.

Then, from the top of the boy's dorm steps a voice called out loudly, "HEY, WHO'S EMERY??"

Another voice spoke up, "Why's he not come up yet?"

"Who knows..."

Parker let out a small, nervous sigh as he stood up from the window sill. He looked at the girl for a brief moment and then at the stairs "I should... go. Uhm, gotta unpack and stuff..." he mumbled, before hurrying over and up the stairs to find his dorm room.